Today is the big day. I’m getting naked and heating down the ducts to try and effect my fate.
Deep Space John. Getting Deep. In Space.
Fears a funny thing isn’t it. I mean I’m in a sarcophagus anyway. Got no place to be. I’m all alone, I’m literally being poisoned by the environment and still I have room for irrational fears. I should focus on being scared by reality, which is genuinely frightening.
So turns out the computer got a bit wacky after all those silly comedies since I followed them up by binge-watching a horror tv show and a couple of jigsaw movies.
I had a friend at school, who I will call Chan, who had a normal house in a normal street with a normal family. I was friendly with him on and off, although we did not keep in touch once we left school, we were friendly enough then that I would go round to his house.
Mood good today. We’re going through an unusually dusty part of everything and the shields are going off, really pretty. I’ve been just looking at them, looking at the stars and the shields illuminating, and appreciating how lucky I am to be here.
Let me tell you what it feels like to be dying. I don’t mean the physical symptoms, you can imagine them, think of the worst flu, combined with the worst gastric bug, combined with some horrifying eczema, that’s about it.
It’s been a busy day lots of maintenance. At first I’d thought I would ignore my surrounds but apparently one man in an intensely enclosed space can make a whole lot of dirt and mess very quickly. Once I started on that I got on with my other chores as well and even some of my exercises until they made me start retching, although I guess you could blame the radiation sickness on that too.
The horror of my situation continues but I’m not in any imminent danger of death. We had some potassium Iodide on board which I’ve started taking for the radiation. They seem to think it should work a bit, but unless they can show me how to fix the leak I’ll be screwed regardless. I shoved a probe down a maintenance tube today and they saw some pictures, took some readings, that sort of thing, so waiting on that.
