Let me tell you what it feels like to be dying. I don’t mean the physical symptoms, you can imagine them, think of the worst flu, combined with the worst gastric bug, combined with some horrifying eczema, that’s about it.

The dread on the other hand. I don’t want to be in a sarcophagus, it’s not seemly and it’s not right, not while I’m in this solar system anyhow. Once I’ve passed every current definition of what defines our solar system then fine, let me vomit my way to oblivion, but until then I will fight it to my last breath. Spending a lot of time in my cocoon. Have been writing a little, watching Cheech and Chong, other comedies from the sixties and seventies, a bit of Monty Python.

Above the clouds night.jpg

It’s improved the computer no end. It woke my up by making a knocking sound that was just like it was on the cocoons roof. When I opened my eyes it said ‘It’s dave.’ I told it Dave’s not here, obviously.

So to continue anyway. I’d been on line. I contemplated gambling. I’d researched arbitrage betting. I’d moved on to how to cheat at online betting (very hard), how monetise useless stuff for a profit. Ultimately I couldn’t find a great way to advance my career, or a good way to earn money on the side, so, instead, I decided to buy some more time.

Enter Eric. Eric doesn’t exist, not really. I once worked with a guy called Eric but he was in payroll and we were not friends. Bu that didn’t matter. I came up with a story that went like this.

I was unhappy with the corporate life and had aspirations to be my own boss, to which end, I’d contacted Eric, we’d had lunch and we’d decided to club together and see if we could launch an APP. We were, I claimed, spit-balling a few ideas. There was one that was a gamblers wallet which would allow him to control his spending, or rather, would allow someone else to control their spending for him. Then there was the market research app which paid users in tokens for online games in return for opinions and the selling the data on. Lastly, and this was the one that should have rung alarm bells for Claire, but I committed to three ideas without thinking it through, here was a online service and classified portal called redwood, with the tagline: Find your Tree in Forest

This claimed I followed through. Three times a week I met up with Eric to work through ideas, to do market research, to put together business plans, work out funding requirements, hone our ideas, do guerrilla testing, you name it.  I read start up blogs and ripped off what they’d said.

And all the time I was just wondering the streets, or parks, or sitting in pubs or coffee shops, wracking my brain for an actual idea of how I could better myself, for us.

Image taken from page 51 of ‘The Half Hour Library of Travel, Nature and Science for young readers’
Image taken from:
Title: “The Half Hour Library of Travel, Nature and Science for young readers”
Shelfmark: “British Library HMNTS 10027.ee.”
Volume: 03
Page: 51
Place of Publishing: London
Date of Publishing: 1896
Publisher: James Nisbet & Co.
Issuance: monographic
Identifier: 001567835