Part 2. Now when you think about it, the entire Xmen series doesn’t make sense.  Or really, any series or show that uses mutants just does so in some ridiculous way and I’ve decided it’s pissing me off.

Now sure, you might have longer legs, gills I can take, even telepathy, reading other people’s mind’s I mean, not moving stuff or starting fires, even that I could take because sure, a mutant may develop a senbsory apparatus that can somehow read exterior brainwaves as well as it can read it’s own, that’s not completely bananas.

But take the Xmen. Storm. Storm! She starts storms. That’s not a mutant power, that is magic. Cyclops, he shoots lasers from his eyes. That’s not a mutation or magic that’s something else again. Ice people, fire people, come on!

There’s no mutation in from a human being that can suddenly give you the ability to touch things and turn them to ice. Why even call them mutations, they’re just magical abilities.

I think those stories, kid’s ones, where a fast person, a great hearer that sort, and they combine to save the day, I mean, no one thinks you can hear halfway around the world, or look all the way around the world and see your own butt, but at least they were neatly divided from fairies and witches doing magic.

I actually think the entire Marvel universe might be suffering from this delusion, now I come to think of it, they have an entire inhuman plotline which, admittedly, involves alien technology and not just mutations, but the results vary as widely as someone being able to produce electricity (feasible, but unlikely) to a woman that can travel at apparently supersonic speeds as long as she’s back to where she started before her heartbeat has finished.

Meanwhile, over in the world of magic and wizardly, how the hell can being a wizard be inherited or inheritable, it’s sheer lunacy, it’s as insulting as suggesting that bricklayer’s sons are better bricklayers than doctor’s sons, regardless of if they’ve grown up in and around the business.

Attention All Mutants! Keeps banging around my head from the arcade game.

My point is this. If you want to create characters that defy the laws of physics, there’s no point invoking a basically phsyics-friendly solution to make it all work. Wouldn’t it be easy to say, and then a God came down and redefined the second law of thermodynamics, and after that, you’d never guess what shit could happen, so read on to find out.

And that fucker Gambit! Yes that’s a super cool trick, yes you can certainly use it to gets lots of girls,. But for god’s sake, don’t do it when you’re playing cards. Why bother playing cards if you’re just going to go destroy them all. You only have to damage one card and the whole packs done, unless you go write it on the joke, but then you’ve lost a joker. No good.