The average day in the life of a Space Man. Well, this space man.

Very quickly, so it’s happened, I’ve stopped following a 24 hour clock. The clock still ticks over but the only thing it marks is windows in which I need to achieve certain tasks such as these communiques, my exercises.

My body has decided that a 27 hour day, with 2 small naps and one big sleep are what works best. I checked the details and apparently this is normal, some people have put themselves in caves without any indicators of circadian rhythms and ended up on similar schedules.

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The ship is well stocked for entertainment. I haven’t checked if this is true but there’s over 100 zettabytes of entertainment storage on board. That includes books, music, films, tv, documentaries and a snapshot of the internet at the point of departure. I said they could leave behind some things, like chick lit, jazz, reality shows and listicles sites but that otherwise they could include anything.

So after I get up, I turn on a screen, stick on a movie or a tv show and get down to my exercises which is a combination of tethered down treadmill, various calisthenics machines and a stationary bike that has hand holds too. When I’ve clocked up the hours, it’s time for breakfast, which is food packs, coffee packs, tea packs and so on. I did try and push the limits of science and have a cup of tea in a mug but the tea had a lot of trouble staying in the mug, so I understand why they use the pouches.

I drop them all in the decomposer (so that I can have soil someday not too far off) and it’s time for my morning ablutions. So, to answer the burning question you’re all thinking of. There’s a sort of small vacuum that I pee in to. And there’s a toilet with a mild vacuum that I poo in to. And then for a shower there’s three options. One: a brisk wipe with a wet towel and some sanitiser. Two: Get in the cocoon which has a shower head and is sealed. Or Three: the option I’ve pursued so far, just don’t clean myself. I’ll deal with that problem when I make myself think I smell bad.

Next up it’s time to check all the equipment. That means running diagnostics, checking oxygen and water levels, making sure nothing is clogged up. Busy work basically to make me feel like less of a passenger.

After all that it’s time for the day’s first nap. My bed is a real bed, although the blanket and pillow are attached to it and there’s a thing that holds me down. And very comfortable it is too. No space hammocks on this ship.

But on that bombshell, I have hit my message word limit. I will get better at being more succinct. I have time to practice. Speed: Fast! Distance: Far! Bye.

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