I should have done this earlier but I guess I should address it now, and sorry for anyone else that’s reading, but there’s one person who I know is and that’s my mum.

Mum, I’m sorry I deceived you and I hope you received the letters I set up so you atleast didn’t think I was dead. I felt awful doing it but I really had no choice, they were very strict.

You want to know what you did wrong that your only son would rather fly in to deep space all on his own rather than be on earth with his mum and the rest of his family that love him.

Let me flip it around. I love you mum, I love all of you, and it’s the opposite. Your support and love have made it possible for me to take this leap of faith, with certainty that I can fulfil this obligation. I’m setting records every day, seeing things no one has seen before, proving that life isn’t just a tiny bubbly within our solar system but that it can exist elsewhere.

I’ll be further out that Voyager 2 soon, and a little later than Voyager one. At that point I’ll be the most remote man made thing ever created, and you will know the truth, that I am not man made at all. I’m Helen Ellis made, you created me and you made this space voyage a possibility and a reality.

When I sat in that  Pod on earth, thinking about this decision, I’d often think back to those rainy afternoons when I was young, and I’d be lying on the floor in the living room, reading; Lisa would be doodling, you’d be sitting at the table, sewing away and humming. Those afternoons are my happiest memories, just relaxing, being safe and secure, no pressure to do or achieve anything, just a blissful being with you humming along to the radio.

Any capacity I have to be self-fulfilled, self-maintained, self-occupied and self-motivated I learnt at your knee. So if it helps and you miss me, maybe you can just look out to the sky and hum along to the radio, do something fiddly with your hands, and imagine me on the floor, reading and with you, in a room that’s just got much, much longer and wider.

And I realise my ramblings will be of limited interest to most people, but for you at least, I know they’ll provide some comfort. And if you ever have a concern, just contact Greg (Greg! Give my mum your number please!).

It just occurred to me that you may have garnered a bit of press attention from all this! So, you were right all long, you will make a good talking head! Just not because of that overturned avocado truck you saw. I love you so much and hope you’re happy and well. Love John.

P.s. I can still see earth through the viewer. Can still see you.

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